Listen, I give you about three chances to get your shit together when it comes to having a role in my life because I like to give YOU the benefit of the doubt and I also believe you cannot change over night. When I check you the first time, it’s polite and neutral because quite simply put, you just didn’t know. The second time I’m passive….yet respectful; which I think is fair because you’ve already been told. Lastly, I’m not even telling you that we’re done being friendly. Depending on the situation at hand I’ve deleted every existence you’ve had in my life or you’re getting no more than 5 words out of me. I choose to allow YOU to be apart of my life however you choose if you want to stay. Then there’s those rare occasional times where you just gotta stop everything from this point forward and just exit, stage left.
Let’s face it, there are some people in our lives that are truly just ignorant as fuck. Sometimes people are just in our lives for a season to drop us one lesson so we can say never fucking again. My previous blog talked about checking yourself, now its time to check those you allow in your life. All I have to say is (ha, I’ve got more to say) that person who’s always bringing you down, negative, something always goes wrong when you’re with them, people that can’t stop brining up your mistakes or your past, or you find yourself having to constantly uplift them so that you BOTH can have a good time..NEEDS TO BOUNCE! You’ve done this I know you have because as soon as you ended that season, you got the freshest breath of fresh air. Okay but I get it because some of those people are dear to you and have touched your heart but how long will your heart and mental health keep suffering before you lose it? If I feel like my energy is constantly drained when just speaking to you I honestly just have to stop talking to you. I’ve worked hard on maintaining my own energy and mental sanity that I can’t allow an outside energy source to drain it. “Good vibes only” and I’m protecting mine!
Whether your relationship with a toxic person is with your parents or best friend, it’s always appropriate to let them know that their actions affect you. Don’t go changing (-to try and please me-) them because that’s not realistic however by being open and honest you’re able to respectfully tackle the problem together. For example, if you’ve had a traumatic event happen to you which is trigger by certain topics and your friend consistently brings said topic up or refers to it, you need to check them. “Hey you know this hurts me a great deal and although you have a right to talk about what you want, when we’re together could you not bring it up?”. Simply, if they care for you they will do it. You don’t not have to have a suffering relationship with this person just because maybe they did something for you or you’ve had this relationship for a long time. YOU DON’T OWE THEM SHIT! Especially at the cost of your sanity. I’ve cut off many people in my life with no regrets and no shame because it would have damaged my mental health rather than help our relationship thrive. Soon what if you lose them out of your life? You have only an idea of what your future will look like, do you really want to include that in your vision? What helped me get over my ban of people was coming up with a mantra “I vibe higher than that” and truly I do. My time is getting so precious, I have littles to raise and what do I look like welcoming something that is going to affect my family and I? Nah, not ever. I’m a big protector of my energy, my space, my mentality and I advocate that as well. You deserve the right to a safe supportive space, don’t jeopardize that with toxic people. Now more than ever would be an ideal time to review the relationships in your life and even explore on some new ones. Some people are only around for a short time while others along time yet a long time doesn’t have to be from the past. And besides, could it be that all losses aren’t bad?